Pain of Salvation - Be

[mullala]

1. Animae Partus

I am
I am
I am

I was not
then I came to be
I cannot remember NOT being
But I may have traveled far
very far
to get here

Maybe I was formed in this silent darkness
From this silent darkness
BY this silent darkness

To become is just like falling asleep
You never know exactly when it happens
The transition
The magic
And you think, if you could only recall that exact moment
Of crossing the line
Then you would understand everything
You would see it all

Perhaps I was always
Forever here...
And I just forgot
I imagine Eternity would have that effect
Would cause a certain amount of drifting
Like omnipresence would demand omniabsence

Somehow I seem to have this predestined hunger for knowledge
A talent for seeing patterns and finding correlations
But I lack context

Who I am?
In the back of my awareness I find words
I will call myself...
GOD
And I will spend the rest of forever
Trying to figure out who I am

2. Deus Nova

[Fabricatio]

10,000 BC - 1 Million people
9,500 BC - 2 Million people
9,000 BC - 3 Million people
8,500 BC - 4 Million people
8,000 through 5,000 BC - 5 Million people
4,500 BC - 6 Million people
4,000 BC - 7 Million people
3,500 BC - 10 Million people
3,000 BC - 14 Million people
2,500 BC - 20 Million people
2,000 BC - 27 Million people
1,500 BC - 38 Million people
1,000 BC - 50 Million people
500 BC - 100 Million people
Year 1 AD - 170 Million people
500 AD - 190 Million people
1,000 AD - 254 Million people
1,500 AD - 425 Million people
Year 2,000 AD - 6,080 Million people

Trying to understand the system of Life
Trying to understand myself
I created the world to be an image of myself, of my mind

All of these thoughts, all of these doubts and hopes
Inside
I took out to form a new breed
A new way to be
And now I am many, so many

So much larger than ever I were
Yet, at the same time
So much smaller and more vulnarable

They all carry shards of the whole
Together they become me
I see them interact, develop
I see them take different sides
As were they different minds
Believers of different ways, and different gods

I think they will teach me something

3. Imago

[Homines Partus]

Spring came with awakening, came with innocense and joy
Spring came with fascination and desire to deploy
Summer came with restlessness and curiousity
Summer came with longing for the things we could not be

Take me to the forest, take me to the trees
Take me anywhere as long as you take me
Take me to the ocean, take me to the sea
Take me to the Breathe and BE

Autumn came with knowledge, came with ego came with pride
Autumn came with shamefulness for the things we could not hide
Winter came with anger and a bitter taste of fate
Winter came with fear for the things we could not escape

Take me to the forest, take me to the trees
Take me anywhere as long as you take me
Take me to the ocean, take me to the sea
Take me to the Breathe and BE

Teach me of the forest, teach me of the trees
Teach me anything as long as you teach me
Teach me of the ocean, teach me of the sea
Teach me of the Breathe and BE

See me! I am the one creation
Hear me! I am all the love that came from Animae
Know me! I am the incarnation
Fear me! I am all the power held by Animae
Me!

Give me of the forest, give me of the trees
Give me anything as long as it's for me
Give me of the ocean, give me of the sea
Give me of the Breathe and BE

Give me all the forests, give me all the trees
Give me everything as long as it's for free
Give me all the oceans, give me all the seas
Give me all the breathing BE

4. Pluvius Aestivus

[Of Summer Rain (Homines Fabula Initium)]

[Instrumental]

5. Lilium Cruentus

[(Deus Nova) On The Loss Of Innocence]

[A Scene in Brown and Yellow:]
At first I don't know why your presence fills me with unease
Though I've missed you more than Life itself
I freeze
It's like you've been lost and now you're glad to see my face
But as you sit down my confusion turns to distress
Not knowing how to let you know that you are
Dead
(I wake up sweating)

They tell me you are better off
Where you are now
Well, I don't care
They tell me that your pain is gone
Where you are now
Well, you left it here
See, I need to be strong
Need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again?

[A Scene in White and Grey:]
Under the icon's weight the old thoughts lay
Under the cross so still and pale
The flowers usher the stale breath of Death away
And someone tries to sing
But the bird of song has lost its wings
Now it twitches
Rips the stitches of a chest where tears are torn
And where all loss begins

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain

[A Scene in Amber - Flawed:]
And have you ever had that dream
Where one you love passes away?
And you wake up crying to a world
Where she's long since gone
But you feel the pain
So close
As if she'd died today
But I need to be strong
I need to be brave
I need to put faith in something
How could I live on
Not hoping we will meet
Again
Some day?

Earth to Earth, Dust to Dust
A verse we know too well
Like a nursery rhyme
Just in reverse
'Cause we are all the little tin man
With hearts like little tin cans
And as we line them down with tears
Over the years
They inevitably turn
To rust

Life seems too small when Death takes its toll
I need something to blame for this pain
I try, I fail, I fall, like anyone you know
I break, I bleed, like anyone you know

[A Scene in Blood on White:]
Where the linen's changed just for tonight
And somehow we beat her to this sight
This ghostly room of Exit
That she enters by the flicker of candle light
And in her breast
A desert storm is taking form
An old thirst that can never be quenched or killed
Sweeps over the cold
Broken but thousandfold
"My Love!"

6. Nauticus

[drifting]

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won't you hear a sinner's prayer
Oh Lord

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won't you help me find the way
When I'm lost and lead astray
Oh Lord

Mmm...

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won't you help me to stay humble
Oh Lord

Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Won't you help me be an ocean
Help me bend to stay unbroken
Oh Lord

Mmm...

Save me, I'm drifting
Help me, I'm drifting

Oh Lord...
Oh Lord...
Oh Lord

[Mr.Money:]
- OK alright baby, the love of my life

[Girl:]
- Are you referring to me... or the car?

[Mr. Money:]
- Oh, please honey, what do you think?
- Now, Cindy...

[Girl:]
- Sandra

[Mr Money:]
- Yeah, of course. Now, as I see it, we've got two natural choices
here. So, what do you say? Either I drive and you can give me some
good head while I'm watching the road...

[Girl:]
- What?

[Mr. Money:]
- Well, somebody's gotta watch the road honey...
- ...or... YOU can drive this baby
- ...oh, but only if you're good at handling the stick of course...

[Girl:]
- But... this is an automatic?

[Mr. Money:]
- ...rrrright!

[Girl:]
- Is that some sort of sick joke?

[Mr. Money:]
- What?

[Girl:]
- ... "natural choices" my ass!

[Mr. Money:]
- Well, that's a third chois I didn't think about...

[Girl:]
- You son of a...!

[Mr. Money:]
- Take it easy baby!
- No sweat... it was only a joke, alright?

[Girl:]
- Alright

[Mr. Money:]
- ... I mean, of COURSE I was joking...
- ... I would NEVER let you drive my car!

[CLUE: pay attention to the radio...]

7. Dea Pecuniae

[I. Mr. Money]

[Miss Mediocraty:]
"Hey there sweetie. Don't I know you? I swear I recognize your face...
and those beautiful eyes... You know, they say the eyes are the
doorway to ones soul... There's a smile. A little shy, aren't we? Hey,
do you wanna get out of here

[Mr. Money:]
Hey Miss Mediocrity, gee, I'm sorry
You've seen me on TV, I'm Mr. Money
Now you want someone to hold you
And call when you're in town
Someone to calm you and confirm you
Well, I'm here...
...to let you down
'Cause outside these sexy cars
And far from my trendy bars
Behind these smiles...
[Miss Mediocraty:]
"...maybe go someplace..."
[Mr. Money:]
...And sunscreen...
[Miss Mediocraty:]
"...more quiet, where we could... you know... talk!"
[Mr. Money:]
...And "Live the Dream!"s...
[Miss Mediocraty:]
"...and get to know each other..."
[Mr. Money:]
I am cold!
[Miss Mediocraty:]
"...no?"
[Mr. Money:]
And mean!

[Miss Mediocraty:]
"How about a ride in that Bentley up front? It's yours isn't it? I'll
be a good girl, I promise!
...or bad...
...whatever you like!"

[Mr. Money:]
Daily Finance - that's me in the Armani
Got
Three Mercedes 350, two Ferraris
I Could have bought a Third World country
With the riches that I've spent
But hey
All modern economics claim that I deserved
Every single cent
And the one time I'm the lesser half
Is when we split the tab
So here's to Friends, Family and Liberty, Genuinity, here's to
Happiness, Success, Good Press, No Stress...
But most of all...

Here's to Me!
Here's to Me!
Here's to Me!
There will be nothing left...
So...
Here's to Me! ([Dea Pecuniae:] Oh baby, baby)
Here's to Me! ([Dea Pecuniae:] I'll take care of you)
Here's to Me!
There will be nothing left...
Nothing left...
...for you

[Dea Pecuniae:]
"If you're looking for fulfillment
A Kingdom and a Crown
A Paradise of Free Rides
I am here...
...to let you down
I'll get you the sexy cars
And a taste of divinity
A glimpse of the Stars
Immortality
But then Vanity
Will leave you dried and scarred
([Mr. Money:] That's right, oh, give it to me!)

Here's to Me! ([Mr. Money:] Oh baby, baby)
Here's to Me! ([Mr. Money:] You'll take care of me)
Here's to Me!
To me"

[II. Permanere]

[Mr. Money:]
But then when it's silent
And the lights from the bars go down
I need comforting
'Cause somewhere there deep inside
Feelings of loss arise
And I hate to lose!

[III: I Raise My Glass]

They say it's lonely at the top
Then I'm as lonely as can be
But I am not too sorry
You see, I've chosen this company
I got myself a winning team
It's Me, Myself and I
You bet it's lonely at the top old friends
And I'm here today to tell you suckers why!
(Dea Pecuniae!)
Dea Pecuniae
Money rules...
They claim that I get paid for my big Responsibility
But hey, you know...
That is just a lame excuse
For my egocentricity
They say that we're really the same you and I
And I truly do agree
You see
Just like me
You live for me
Until the day you die
And so I raise my glass to all of you who really believe that I get
paid for my big responsibility
To all of you who suck it up and pay my debts
To all of you who think that my lifestyle does not affect the environment
Or the poverty
Well, maybe not more than marginally anyway
Good for you!
And you know what?
Here's to you...
And I raise my glass, to those of you who give their piece of the cake
for free, for me to throw in the face of democracy
For those who help making solidarity ideologically untrendy
And charity individualistically idiotic, unsmart and characteristically bendy
I salute thee you poor bastards 'cause you all nod while I sit at your table
So let's raise our glasses one last time, to give you all the greatest
recognition and credit of all times - cause after all, let's face it;
that's the only "thank you" you will ever get
So come on now - raise your glasses!
Here's to YOU
There will be nothing left - no!
Nothing left...
...but money

8. Vocari Dei

[Sordes Aetas - Mess Age]

[Music and arrangements by Daniel Gildenlow]

[Instrumental]

9. Diffidentia

[Breaching the Core]

[Imago:]
(I will never submit to all the things you've said god!)
No!

We're breaching the core - we're breaching the core
We're breaching the core - we're breaching...

To taste it
To touch it
Cut my hand
To crave it
Enslave it
Pluck my eye

I can never submit to all the things you've said God
If you want me dead, I'm right here God
But fear is a funny thing God
In that it gives you the strength to resist just about anything God
And friend turns to enemy
So easily
When you defend your legacy with guilt
And talk of blasphemy
God
You know
You created a golden cage for you sheep
A stage too wide and deep for us to even see the play
But hey
You know what they say about catching the bird
But you can't make it sing?
You lose the bird the second it loses its wings
Just like I reckon you will lose your herd
To choirs of "I am, I am, I am"
And mountains and mountains of money and things!

We're breaching the core - all breaching
We're breaching the core - still breaching

[Animae:]
"Help me I'm starting to fade
Save me I'm drifting away"

[Imago:]
But we can change
We can change...?
I said we can change!

We can change, we can change - still breaching...
We can change, we can change - still breaching...

I hold it
I'm never
Letting go
I settle for rash rather than risk going to slow
I sought it
I killed it
But now I know
I'm left somewhat broken but I won't let it show
Hear me now!

[Animae:]
"Man is shattered
I am shattered
My shards have become shards of their own
Pieces of pieces, impossible to put back together
Spending their lives seeking a context they were always a part of
And so, they leave the context
And we shrink
I fade
And nothing more can be learnt or taught
I have no choice but to leave them to their own devices
I have come to understand one thing and one thing alone
One little piece of understanding
Glowing through this void of blankness and clean slates
Like a beacon of hope
Or just a reminder that I was always wrong:

"Searching for yourself is like looking for the house you stand in
How could you possibly find it?
It's everywhere
It's all you know
And there are no other points of reference"

[Animae:]
Help me I'm starting to fade
Save me, I'm drifting away
Help me, I'm dying now
([Imago:] What are these stains? They stay, stay when it rains...)
Curtains before my final bow
([Imago:] ...burning my skin. It's burning... burning... burning my skin!)
Drifting, just drifting away
([Imago:] Burning... Take it away, it's burning me... Burning my skin!)
Leaving with all that's still left to say
([Imago:] Now life... now life... fails our kin!)
I failed
I failed
We failed
We failed...

10. Nihil Morari

[Homines Fabula Finis]

"See me"
"Hear me"
"Need me"
Some things will never change
"Touch me"
"Heal me"
Mankind remains the same

Oceans
Forests
Nations
Now everything bears our name
While Earth is bleeding
Nothing will remain
Nothing prevails

We were stuck in this world of change
Expecting it to remain
Now nothing is left unstained

No!

When there's nothing more that we can trade
Own
Steal
Or sell

When there's nothing whole because we took it apart
And
Just left
Moved on

When there's nothing left for us to break
Use
Abuse
Or rape

Then you're free to count how much you saved

I can see the ways we fail
I can see us fall so easily
A structure far too frail
I can see 40,000 years of knowledge and history
Invested in this child
Spoiled and stained by proud divinity
Gaining at best the perspective and wisdom
Of not even a fleeting century

We have now reached the final ten thousandth of a second
of our evolutionary year, as we hit 2,000 at a birth rate
of 250 people a minute

Tell me
How are we supposed to survive?
If we're acting like fools
All dropping dead to stay alive?
Someone tell me
Please just show me
If there's nothing to do, God we'll turn to you
But if we're an image of you
I reckon you are just as puzzled and ugly too

You think we have developed fast; that we're civilized and intelligent
I'll let you in on a secret: we have developed Things!
The rest is simply knowledge passed on
(I can see us drain this world
I can see us buying loss too cheap
Terra Sterilia washing its bronken hand of us now
Creation's blackest sheep!)
Hell, 99% of humanity couldn't put together a simple light bulb if you
put a gun to their heads!
And the intellect rubs off on fear

The year 2,010 AD: 6,823 Million people
2,020 AD: 7,518 Million people
2,030 AD: 8,140 Million people
2,040 AD: 8,668 Million people
2,050 AD: 9,104 Million people

I can see us read the signs
But spell them out in backward travesty
I see us close our eyes
To all the wounds that we inflict to this world by being "free"
We love this world to death
Purchasing our lifestyles with our lives
Defending our momentarily nations
With the loss of our priceless earthly home

It's not hard to reach the top
It's not hard not knowing when to stop
It's not hard to take all
Not very difficult to fly if you settle for a fall
It's not hard to cross a line
It's not hard to push and go to far
Some creatures cannot climb
Then there are us who cannot even learn how to stay alive

I'm sorry!
For the things we did and did not do
Forgive us; the fools that rushed ahead without a clue
I am sorry
Please forgive us
For this human lack of humanity
This evolutionary travesty
This tragedy called "Man"
...called "Man"...

I'm sorry!
For the things we did and didn't do
Forgive us; the fools that rushed ahead without a single clue
...without a single clue...

11. Latericius Valete

2,060 AD: 1.2 Million people...

12. Omni

[Permanere?]

[Imago:]
I see us in you Nauticus
Came so late but I pray
At the last light of day
There might still be a chance
To save this beast of clay

I see us in you Nauticus
As you're drifting along
Built to last
Young and strong
Will you find us the answers
Before we are gone?

It's getting late in the day...

13. Iter Impius

[Martius, son of Mars]

[Obitus Diutinus]

[Mr. Money:]
I woke up today
Expecting to find all that I sought
And climb the mountains of the life I bought
Finally I'm at the top of every hierarchy
Unfortunately there is no one left
But me

I woke up today
To a world that's ground to dust, dirt and stone
I'm the king upon this withering throne
I ruled every forest, every mountain, every sea
Now there're but ruins left to rule for me
And... you see, it beckons me;
Life turned its back on us
How could you just agree?
...how? I just don't see...

I woke up today
To a world devoid of forests and trees
Drained of every ocean, every sea
Just like a useless brick upon the shore
The morning after the storm
That swept the bridge away
Relentless tide
No anger
Just this relentless time
That calls us all on
But...

I'm never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne
I rule the ruins and wrecks
And the dust, dirt and stone
I rule rage rod and rattling of bones

I am on my own
I am all alone
Everything is gone
Stuck forever here
Already cold

I'm never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne...

I'm never crossing that line
Leaving this world behind
I will stay on my own
On this bloodstained throne
I rule the ruins and wrecks
And the dirt and the dust and the stone
I'm the ruler of rage rod and rust
And the rattling of bones
Ruler of ruin...

14. Martius / Nauticus II

[Martius]

I'm at the line - I see it all
I am Nauticus now
And so much more
I am all you know

I'm at the line - just at the line
An eternity at the blink of an eye
In this place called time
I'm everything
Everywhere
I am all
Omni
"BE"

[Nauticus II]

I feel every mountain
I hear every tree
I know every ocean
I taste every sea (...)

I see every spring arrive
I see every summer thrive
I see every autumn keep
I see every winter sleep (...)

For I am every forest
I am every tree
I am everything
I am you and me
I am every ocean
I am every sea
I am all the breathing "BE"

15. Animae Partus II

I am!